May 27 2012, several minutes later I will be 19. In my 19th birthday i have no special wish i just hoping tomorrow i can wake up early and see the sun rise amazingly.
Recently i was thinking about so many thing and one of the important part is about my own self. I found that in some parts of me i am a total suck person. I can be very rude, sarcastic, cold-hearted, unfriendly and horror in some circumstances.
Few days ago when i really think about those stuff i realize that i have a serious problem about complaining. I am very restrict of being complained but i do complain a lot *sigh. When i meet a person which has the personality that i don't like in common i will complain about it to my room mate and i never ever can keep it. After grumbling about it them i realize, that was not good and that was his/her right to do so.
The other thing is i am so cold-hearted. I must admit that i am so ignorance in certain points. Most of the time i don't really care about my surroundings or people around. All i care about is about my mind, about what i think is important. Then i wonder is it ignorance or selfish ? In this kind of state i cannot agree to which phrase i am belonged to.
Yes i know this is me and this is part of me. I cannot deny that everybody has their own bad personality. In my case do you think i am lil bit overboard ?
well as you already knew my dear, i have such a psychological matter to deal with. In some circumstances i believe, that mater has something to do with my personality. It affect my mental and social conditions. That is why you'll find me as a person with a weird personality. Compare to the people around my age and gender i am very different. I am hard to read and so to understand. Even my own self cannot be sure about who truly i am.
Many times i was being nice to people (in my points of view), and we consider our self as sort of 'friends'. I was acceptably behaving nice to them and try to help them out whenever they need me to, but then look the just come if they need my help, isn't it irritable ? The rule is simple if you nice to me then i'll be nice to you too. if you care about me then i'll be too. If i care about you but you don't, i will be no longer care about you anymore. One of my best ability is to forget. Maybe it is due to so many pain i had back then, and my mind adapted try to protect me from it, by making my mind fast in forgetting or cover it up like it was not there but it was there all the time. So don't be hesitate on my ability.
This is my birthday present to every soul that fortunate to read this. Through this writing i try to figure out who i am and you can read it too.
