Hopeless Kid

28 november 2011
00 : 04

Tears down again
Soul ripped
A big hole inside
Hopeless struck
The decreasing trust
A whining child

Does her gonna pass this successfully while knowing that her biggest motivation is fading ?
Does her biggest fear of reality chasing her behind ? 
Afraid of it she close her door
She close her window's curtain
She hide inside her dark room, although she knew it would never help 

It keep coming
Haunting
Torturing
And hurting

The candle almost die now
What else gonna be light ? 

She keep trying to calm herself and accept it all
She knew and always believe that God is fair
Yeah she really does
And now she put her smile upon her face, her tear falls

Duality

When I asked my self "what kinds of things that you scared the most ?" my answer is "my self being an evil"

I like to watch horror movie but I rarely scared of it then it ends up on thinking what will scare the hell out of me and the imagine that appear in my head just me, my self with and evil smile upon my face, a fierce glare that looking into my direction and ready to tear me into pieces.

I believe that everybody even the holiest one has his own darkest side, the place where you will find the evil of yours. Maybe because i am a Gemini i tend to assume double life, one day i put on a cardigan and a tank top inside it, plat shoes and a hand bag but on the other day i put on a black t-shirt and a boyish outer a sneaker and a suspender bag. It also work on my character. Sometime i can be a very melodramatic person but then, i can be a very ignorant and heartless person. 

I am totally aware that i am not a fully good person but realizing that the scariest thing in my life is my darkest possibility make me realize that i have big will to be good and my worst enemy now is
"The Envious Me and The Selfish Me" 

Friends

Hey i'm back again i guess :p
When you feel all alone and there is nobody around you can count on yeah the answer is to write down ur feeling and your thought and it's mean a blog :p
Again, i told u i'm not even better than anyone in writing but i do this cuz i wanna :)
And now i don't even know what should i write :/ damn
I guees i wanna say some words on friends since i just done watching my high school videos covers with tears and laughter *lol
Making friends is a good stuff. To be a friend is easy. But when you should keep ur friendship that's hard. Maybe you know many people but just several of them you can rely on and you can be friend with. And i think i am one of the fortunated person to have such a wonderful friends back there and a very best friend although she is far now we still keep contact to each other :)
And do you know ? Right now i miss them A LOT.
I wanna do that freakin' stuff again. I wanna get mad, laugh, cry, feeling fooled, and whatever they've done to me and we experience together i miss them damn much ! It's been quite a while i didn't see them, make me wonder when we can meet again :) and i curse we have to meet each other again soon :)