Something doesn't worth writing

I thought i wouldn't write about you again cause in some points i think its useless and not worthy
I thought what people said is true that friedship never ends or there is no such a thing called ex-friend, but now i need to rethink about it
I thought our friendship is messed up
Now i am very angry to you for some reasons
Well i never thought this would be turn to be like this nor i expect it
I've tried my best to be a good friend honestly but seriously i couldn't stand you anymore
I consider this is already helpless
Now just live your world and i'll live mine
I've dissapointed enough and angry enough to make me don't wanna hear from you again
Now do whatever you want to do cuz i would not care anymore
And i thought it's just easy for you cuz i think you don't really think about me either don't you?
Remember? When i had my very bad and dark time then i all broke up and feeling so down, you are not even bother to ask 'is everything okay?' right?
So i think it will be okay
Sorry for my mistakes
I hope you are happy for now and then

A Note

I don't know if i really mad at you
I don't know if i really feel sorry for you
I don't know if i should regret what i've done
I don't know if you are mad at me
I don't know if you feel sorry for me
I don't know if you regret it
I don't know if i really care or not
And i don't know if you care or not either
I can't explain this kind of circumstances but i believe there is a cause for everything and everything happens for a reason
Now i am on the edge of the thread
I'll just sit and wait
I'll do nothing
Let's just see do you really care or not?

Untitled

I don't know where to start
What should i put in this writing first
My head is buzzing just like everytime i decide to write down something
Tonight is quite cold
29 degree celcius shown on my screen
And unexpectly today is also known as valentine day, but that is not really the reason why my head is buzzing or why i want to write down something
Today some people are just undescribly happy and other some are undescribly sad
I cannot tell for sure
But for me today is something
For hours until this last minutes to end this day, i've think a lot and realize a lot of things that i've never really thought before
Some are about people, emotions, friends, feelings, ego, love, god
I can't recall all of it but i can tell you for sure how i feel now
This is like a mixture of so many feelings
I can feel relief, sadness,anger, selfishness, happiness, sincerity, wiseful, peace
I feel like now i can really think about other's good
Now i can let go off something meaningful to me for their own good
Now i can think not just about myself
Everything happens for a reason
I can't change everything to be at my side
Smiling and crying at the same time not that because i am totally sad but because i feel so relief that i can realize things that i have never thought before
That i can think using a way that if never wonder before
I think that i am getting more mature and wiser for it
It's like passing another level in life
And i am also very happy at the same time to know that i can write this down and preserve this feeling for the rest of my life