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I don't know where to start
What should i put in this writing first
My head is buzzing just like everytime i decide to write down something
Tonight is quite cold
29 degree celcius shown on my screen
And unexpectly today is also known as valentine day, but that is not really the reason why my head is buzzing or why i want to write down something
Today some people are just undescribly happy and other some are undescribly sad
I cannot tell for sure
But for me today is something
For hours until this last minutes to end this day, i've think a lot and realize a lot of things that i've never really thought before
Some are about people, emotions, friends, feelings, ego, love, god
I can't recall all of it but i can tell you for sure how i feel now
This is like a mixture of so many feelings
I can feel relief, sadness,anger, selfishness, happiness, sincerity, wiseful, peace
I feel like now i can really think about other's good
Now i can let go off something meaningful to me for their own good
Now i can think not just about myself
Everything happens for a reason
I can't change everything to be at my side
Smiling and crying at the same time not that because i am totally sad but because i feel so relief that i can realize things that i have never thought before
That i can think using a way that if never wonder before
I think that i am getting more mature and wiser for it
It's like passing another level in life
And i am also very happy at the same time to know that i can write this down and preserve this feeling for the rest of my life